Unfortunately, we're all into manipulation!
I'm a big fan of Robert Cialdini. The work and research he has provided over the years on the subject of influence is simply powerful. If you haven't read his book(s) and articles, I encourage you to do so.
In particular I appreciate his healthy approach and how he points out the vast number of manipulative techniques that are more or less consciously applied "out there". It was Dale Carnegie, who in his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" said: "A person persuaded against his will is of the same opinion still." If you combine this basic principle with the body of knowledge we have today on manipulation, it's obvious that complex and large account sales especially needs to be CLEAN. Manipulation always backfires!
What's interesting is this; most account and sales managers today know that manipulation only hurts us in the long run. However, if our deepest belief patterns and habits render us inclined to exercise control or dominion over others, it will - in business also - surface in what we do and how we say things.
The scary thing is, to a certain extent, we're all at times tempted to use force or some kind of coercion to obtain our goals and objectives. You're saying: Really??! How? Let me give you just a few examples, and then maybe you're able to spot misbehavior in these or similar examples you yourself are able to produce - from your most personal life and circumstances:
- What's my behavior like when driving a car and being late for an important meeting?
- When my children won't listen, how do I respond to their rebellious behavior?
- How do I behave and how do I phrase my sentences when in a middle of an argument with my spouse?
- How do I treat my subordinates or those I lead? How do I phrase my "orders"?
- What feedback would my colleagues give me if they read this blog post?
- How do I react when someone expresses frustration about someone I too have a strong dislike towards?
- How do I handle someone that pushes me for honesty about something I'd rather keep to myself?
Once we begin to see our own misbehavior and how we're suffering from manipulation in almost every respect of our lives, it naturally becomes of interest to find out what manipulation really is. Also, how can I become a master of clean influence? That, I will share more about in my next post ;-)
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