In charge of your emotional life
"I can't help it, that's just how I feel..." Well, that's not good enough! You are in charge, even in charge of your feelings. That may sound harsh, but being in charge of your feelings in large measure decides how successful you are.
Yes, I know. Feelings can't be helped. Sometimes they just come, don't they? In fact, they pretty much do so all the time. Of course there's no simple answer. However, maybe we're not so much a victim of feelings after all?!
Feelings and emotions are a direct result of how we perceive the world around us. For instance, let's say a colleague turns to you and says: "Aren't you turning a little fat and out of shape?" Would that trigger feelings? What if there was a way to filter and help us steer those feelings in a desired direction even before any type of stimulus is allowed to trigger them?
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We have good news for you. Such a filter does exist. It's readily available to us. All we have to do is apply it. For the sake of keeping it simple we've divided the subject into three parts. There are three different types of stimuli that trigger feelings and emotions. We call these stimuli "sources of energy". Every kind of stimulus is a form of energy. Had it not been energy, it would not have reached us in the first place. | |||||||||||
Energy can be witnessed all around us, but most energy (if not all) is invisible. Invisible or not, these energies broadcast their messages to us through what we might call channels. Let's briefly consider each of these three groups of channels.
Passion
Passion is energy from within. The first channel through which we receive inbound energy and powerful stimulus is from the inside and ourselves. One example of this kind of energy could be "self talk". All of us have a constant conversation going with ourselves. What messages are you giving yourself? Is there a way to filter self talk and be in charge?
Connection
Connection is energy from others. Another channel through which we receive energy is from the people around us. Did you ever distinguish between so-called good and bad vibes from someone? Of course you did. Having a conversation with any person allows us to pick up signals, but a lot of times we misinterpret them. What kind of stimulus are you experiencing from other people? Are you always correct in your interpretation of what they're passing on? And for that matter, do you think they always consciously know what signals the sending you?
Intuition
Intuition is energy from other sources. Maybe a largely underestimated channel is the stimulus we receive from undefined and unknown sources. Did you ever experience a sudden but powerful impression? How does it feel when a groundbreaking idea just hits your brain. Just the fact that it can leave as quickly as it came appears to me as evidence that it's indeed from the outside. Did you ever sense that there is more than just ourselves and the people around us that influences us?
Pick any book on sales, influence, communication, negotiation or even "success" in general, and you'll see that it's about at least one of these three channels. 3E is about mastering all three channels of influence.
Do you want to know how each of these can give you greater control of your emotional life? Do you want to know how they influence the people around you - your family, colleagues, customers? Passion, Connection and Intuition work both ways. That's when the subject gets interesting! Make sure to subscribe to this blog and read my comments about each of those channels coming soon.
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