Like most people, you too have probably experienced moments of bliss when communication was just perfect. You felt at one with life and everything around you!

The past seven years we've been searching for what it is that makes such a "fusion" occur, especially within sales and in a business setting. We wanted to reach higher - for something much better than what we see in the business world today.

However short these glimpses of insight may be, they're real and filled with such good and powerful feelings that there are hundreds of descriptions to be found about them: Some describe it as "butterflies of joy", "ecstatic and rare excitement", "a magical flow of ideas", "pure conviction" and others simply as "quiet moments of tranquility and peace". Over the years our research team has chosen a descriptive term that embraces and captures the entire scope of it: Energation!

“To closely interact through passion, connection and intuition, reaching understanding and commitment beyond natural ability.”

There's a lot to be said about energation. In fact, it's such a huge topic I wrote a book about it. The common denominator, however, is dialog. Whether it be internal dialog through self reflection during a private moment or an excellent conversation with another person, there is always some kind of interaction and thinking activity that precedes energation. In all simplicity we've found that it's a process of exchanging energy in combination with communication. If we merge "energy" with "communication" we get "energation".

That said, energation is a shared state of mind and a mutual experience that is sometimes hard to describe. Thus we get all the differing explanations and descriptions of feelings and sensations. Still, when it occurs both parties can instantly recognize it. It's in the air. Our research has revealed three layers of energy. In our experience, energation occurs most often when all three are flowing: PASSION - CONNECTION - INTUITION (and in this sequence).

One Energy per Dialog

Each of these energies is a direct result of a specific type of dialog. PASSION grows out of the Operational dialog. CONNECTION grows out of the Opinional dialog and INTUITION grows out of the Optimal dialog. During the next few weeks I'll be sharing what each dialog is about. Stay tuned for more ;-)

Key Principles of Energation

Three key principles characterize energation.

# 1 - AVAILABLE TO ALL

Maybe the most exciting characteristic of energation is how it's completely independent from physical condition and social state. We may be rich or poor, male or female, old or young, in prison or out in the free, in war or in peace, hungry or filled up, cold or hot, sick or healthy. Regardless of circumstances, it's seems to be equally available to all. Energation is pretty much synonymous with happiness, but not the kind of shallow happiness we think of "on a daily basis". Energation is the perfect balance of outbound and inbound energy.

# 2 - PROACTIVE STEPS MAY INCREASE FREQUENCY

By engaging ourselves in Operational, Opinional and Optimal dialogs we begin to balance the 3 Energies behind effective communication - PASSION - CONNECTION - INTUITION. These dialogs are so closely linked to their respective energies, our focus should not be on the energy itself, but rather on mastering the dialogs - then energy follows as a direct result. Energation may occur, but not per se.

# 3 - REMAINS OUTSIDE PERSONAL CONTROL

Even though much can be done to stimulate energation, it remains out of our direct control. Whereas it will not occur without our consistent effort, it cannot be forced or manipulated. This does not mean it cannot be facilitated, rather it means we only have indirect control. Skilled communicators know how to create the atmosphere needed for energation to enter the scene.

Even though energation does not always work the way we would like it to, communication is always at its best when we tap into Passion, Connection and Intuition.

Why do we seek this unique kind of shared experience? Because energation is the ultimate way to foster enduring commitment in others. Energation has a lasting effect beyond any other way we know of. It motivates unlike any other element in human interaction. Energation is influence in the keenest sense of the word. It helps the people around us become self powered - gives them perspective - it ignites their character!

Being on the same wavelength is what energation is truly all about.

Let me assure you: Skilled communicators tap into energation all the time. It just hasn't been explained like this before. Not only does it help win the business. Energation makes selling a worthwhile and mutually uplifting experience. This is what you've been looking for. This is what you want!

(Read more about energation in the 3E members area - a sneak peak before release end of Oct 2008.)

Few people really understand the value of a human network, but even fewer understand that networks are worthless if we're not loyal to those with whom we interact.

Unfortunately I frequently meet active but ineffective net workers. Who are they? Without their knowing it, people perceive them as being "only average". Average people sometimes engage in gossip, they sometimes break appointments and they sometimes are too much preoccupied with executing justice when mercy, forgiveness and forgetting is most needed. Their reputation is no better than average people. Being "average" does not foster a network that will work for you. In fact, it will actively work against you!

We need to stand out and make a difference. If we want to build value we need to break human patterns turning normal negative into peculiarly positive. Here's a quote from "The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success":

"A person with poor relationships is mostly too much governed by the desires of the moment. Immediate gratification and pleasure seeking reflects an unstable mind and an impatient attitude that only follows average net workers. These people simply don't have what it takes to be a friend of many. Why is that?

The answer is simple: Human networks are slow, but powerful - they are not built quickly, but one brick at a time. People that build a network bigger than average do so on a consistent basis. They're faithful. They stick to principles and values. Their network grows, not necessarily because they are so much "better" than others, but mostly because they are dependable. They're loyal, and the people around them subconsciously recognize it. External conditions do not shake or budge their fixed determination from previous meetings. Neither inside feelings nor outside weather conditions affect their appointed course of direction. They move relentlessly on a pathway positively predictable to others, making them excellent team players.

	"Outside weather conditions does not affect their weather inside..."

Thus, a person surrounded by people who appreciate them, not necessarily for who they are, but for who they constantly become, have that special power of opportunity following them almost like a magic aura. People enjoy their company! Why? Because net workers (i.e. good people who meet good people) generate opportunities, and 'constant opportunity' is the essence of what business and life is all about.

...when a network is built 'the right and the slow way' it becomes the quickest thing you ever experienced. It will save you, help you, even comfort you in tough times and most of all, enable you to accomplish any worthwhile goal you have set out to accomplish. Truly effective people always build relationships, especially when it appears not to be important."

We've looked at "when a message has power" as well as "when training works". Suppose you've got them both in place. Now the question remains: How can we increase or maintain our power of influence?

Influence was never static. It's always fluctuating - up or down. If we're not taking action to increase our degree of influence, then it automatically decreases. Here's the fact: Most people give little thought to whether what they are doing increases or decreases their level of influence with others. Had they been trained in basic principles of influence, they would have experienced dramatic improvement in being able to reach and convince others.

A good example of such principles is found for instance in Dr Stephen R. Covey's instructions where among other things he talks about "The Emotional Bank Account". The principles are simple and above all practical and easy to apply on a day-to-day basis (listed here). Influence is action. It is doing! This is at the heart of the matter - we either add or subtract influential power - through every single action we take in relation to others. Action is where it's found. Good action increases influence. Poor action or no action decreases influence.

The 3 Energies behind every form of influence are Passion, Connection and Intuition. These three cover the entire spectrum of influence. Whereas Dr Covey's example only covers one of them with the concept of the Emotional Bank Account, all influence stems from these 3 Energies.

From a birds eye view and higher perspective influence is energy. Therefore, the more energy we pass on the greater the influence we will have. Being an energy carrier and energy transmitter makes all the difference. Energy and influence travels upward in a spiral staircase through three basic questions - so basic it's almost hard to grasp:

• What am I trying to achieve?

• Who can help me accomplish it?

• How will I stimulate them to pull the load with me?

These three - and in this order - WHAT, WHO and HOW and our ability to answer them are what decides our persuasive abilities.

1. WHAT relates to our identity. It reveals who we are and what we are about. For instance, research shows how every successful company on average takes seven years to answer this first question.
2. The question of WHO guides us in which people that matter most. Everyone is unique and has equal value, but when seeking to accomplish specific goals and objectives some people are worth spending more time and effort with than others.
3. Asking HOW confronts us with the need to become specific as well as accept that others may know more than we do.

The WHAT, WHO and HOW apply to every aspect of life; personal, organizational, family, politics etc. Only people who know WHAT can be truly effective in answering WHO. Only people who know WHO can be truly effective in answering HOW. Only people who know HOW revisit WHAT with real insight. Constantly working up the spiral in this way is the essence of influence. All else is a subspecies or lesser variety thereof.

The first energy, PASSION, comes from answering the first question of WHAT. The second energy, CONNECTION, comes from answering WHO. The third energy, INTUITION, is triggered by HOW. Energy and influence comes through interactive reflection on the most basic questions we can ask. This is why basic is and always will remain most powerful.

Summing up: Influence is hard work, but most of the influential powers we have are generated much earlier in the process than what people may think. When you call someone, speak with someone or write something 80% or more of the influence you have in the moment comes from preliminary effort - not what causes your current perspiration. Work today to influence tomorrow!

I've done a LOT of sales training since my last post, and (unfortunately) a lot of traveling. As always, it has been a fantastic experience. Remember how I said last time: A student only benefits from training programs when they include the heart in the learning process. A trainer can "pound" on the door of the heart, but to actually open it is left to each candidate individually. (Selling is ultimately the same way.)

These past weeks I've again contemplated the power of this principle, and I just want to point out; there are only two types of candidates attending training out there:

1. They who take it to heart and experience the first amplifier (heart explosion)
2. They who will not include emotions and feelings and never gain the slightest bit of learning (only superfluously)

Note! A student can only experience "heart explosion" if the trainer possesses the quality of bringing the message to the heart in the first place. My claim is - very few trainers do!

Last time I promised to share the next two amplifiers following the first. I'll keep it short - that's somehow the beauty of this:

Influence is energy. If we want to reach another person with our message, we need power, and that power is nothing but energy! What is the very core of how a message becomes powerful? Did you ever think about that? Here's what we've found is the answer to this important question: "It's when we run it through the three amplifiers most easily available in one-on-one communication":

• The first amplifier is the heart (Energy # 1: PASSION). I.e. when the message passes through the heart it explodes and immediately (yes, automatically) flows out to hands and feet. We see immediate action. Ask yourself whether or not you've caused the first amplifier in someone else. Here's an easy test to evaluate how it went: Did they act immediately on what you presented them with? Did they become unstoppable? If not, then your message never made it to the first amplification

The 3E symbol for PASSION is the heart.

• The second amplifier is from heart to heart (Energy # 2: CONNECTION). This amplifier is the need we have to share from the heart how the heart explosion felt and what mental images caused it to take place. This sounds almost religious, and I admit it almost is. However, just think of it this way: The best way to test whether or not something really has been learned is if we're able to teach others the same. When this is done, not only is the learning curve extended, but the subject and material becomes ours. Ours to keep forever.

The 3E symbol for CONNECTION is a battery.

• The third amplifier is when we include intuition (Energy # 3: INTUITION). When we begin to apply adopted material in our own way, i.e. we incorporate principles and adapt skills to our own style and individual talent. In doing so, we stay open to inside and outside impressions and promptings.

The 3E symbol for INTUITION is a bolt of lightning.

Once we deeply study these three amplifiers - each one a direct result from each of the respective "3 Energies" - we'll discover how our message both penetrates AND causes permanent change in others. THIS is what selling (and training) is all about.

Next time you attend (sales) training, try to keep in mind the following: Training very seldom has changing and lasting effect!

Coming from a trainer, this may sound disillusional. However, an effective trainer isn't truly familiar with how instruction works until he or she has seriously been engaged in evaluation of results. Every public speaker or instructor should be brought to witness his or her actual degree of influence. If this was done properly I believe the majority of us would be shocked and greatly disappointed. Research also indicates that most training not even remotely makes a significant difference in behavior over time. More importantly, a thorough understanding of better influence would lead to a) less monologue and entertainment and b) increase the level of interaction and dialog to reach involvement and effort.

Having been involved in training since 1992, I've at least learned two MAJOR lessons, summed up in one: 1) Learning takes place from the inside, and 2) energy is the primary source of change. A good mental picture to illustrate what happens when change takes place is this:

The above illustration serves to underscore how the heart is "the first amplifier of energy". We're looking at energy explosion! (In my next post I'll share more about the other two amplifiers following immediately after.)

Any principle can be understood intellectually, but still have little bearing on real life application. If a person is to be effectively educated reflection needs to pass through the heart of the individual. In the very moment the heart is included, it will automatically and instantly flow or "shoot" to the hands and feet. It is this spontaneous reaction that represents the first crucial step in changing behavior. For it to become a habit, consistent effort is also needed.

Acquiring skills in influencing others is enormously rewarding, but it does require the heart. The heart, though painful it may be, is not included unless someone or something triggers emotions and feelings. For this reason, the real question is how to generate, pass on and harness energy.

In this sense, training and selling are completely one and the same. This is why any teacher, speaker and instructor would benefit greatly from basic sales training. Yes, teaching is selling - both are aiming to influence. Influence is all about energy.

To see a webcast on this subject click here.

We ought to have a serious problem with anyone that promotes a product or service they wouldn't buy and use themselves.

Nothing new about that, but that's not all. We should also be concerned about anyone that doesn't first sell to their best friends and family, and equally important, whether or not they have indeed succeeded in selling to someone close and personal. Why? Because it proves whether or not the individual really believes in the value of their offering. When someone with an in-depth knowledge of a product or service is willing to risk valuable friendships and relationships this becomes a solid indication of product value.

Here's an example to illustrate what I mean:

A number of years ago, when I was working for X, I asked myself if I would sell X to my parents, brothers and sisters or friends. The answer came out very clearly: Definitely not! By nature, this reply would have made me quit right away. I don't think anyone should promote anything they do not wholeheartedly support and passionately believe in. Then why did I remain with the company? The reason was obvious. If my parents, my siblings or friends would have been professional buyers with specific high-performance information needs, I would have encouraged them to buy X products and services - at the time.

However, when I had been in X for approximately two years I made a significant discovery that made me change my mind after all. Like I said previously, the belief in a product or service is not only tied to whether it's "good", but also if the price reflects the value of it. Of course, value is relative, and price should actually fluctuate according to the dollar's worth of what the solution provides... but let me briefly share what happened: I was selling an X licensed database to my brother-in-law. At the point when we were about to sign the contract I found myself giving him a smarter and cheaper license than what I normally would do. Why would I do such a thing, I thought? The answer gave me a shock I'll never forget: Because I didn't believe the solution was worth that much money. Being in conflict with my own integrity I realized I had to either negotiate better prices for my accounts and/or improve the quality and value of each solution.

I could go on and tell you how I soon after switched both company and role, but the main principle should be clear: "Only sell quality and value you yourself would buy. Never ask for a signature on a contract you yourself wouldn't sign".

When instructing top sales people on how to sell more, I always begin by introducing them to the Operational dialog. This type of interaction involves everything from product development and change management to internal training and internal and external marketing. Sales people sometimes ask why this is important to "selling extremely well - it's not directly sales related". My reply is that it is! Bottom line: We need to bring ourselves in the situation where we offer our clients something we are passionate about. If we don't, it's time to improve what we have or quit doing it. And, yes, sometimes it's a process. That process is the Operational dialog.

Before wrapping up, I'd like to just add one little piece of information. A few years later I came to learn about the values behind Open Source, open architecture and open standards. This too dramatically filtered out the type of companies I'm willing to help and support. Today I'm part of a team that really appreciates the Operational dialog. It's a true adventure and a wonderful experience to be working with passion, not just on my own, but with others. That's energy for ya'.

The hardest, most demanding "customer" to please and to satisfy has got to be those with whom we have the closest relationship, don't you think? Family; a brother, a sister, a spouse, a child or even a best friend. Only at this level can we really tell what kind of quality (sales) people we are. It's how we treat the individuals inside "our most private circles" that reveals who we truly are - and it can hurt at times!

Why is this? How come? There probably are a number of reasons why very close relationships are a hard sell.

One reason could be how our most private life reveals "vulnerability and weakness". Everyone has a bit of pride - deep inside - that somehow seeks to protect our total defeat or feeling of complete surrender. When our most tender faculties are exposed we feel a powerful urge to defend ourselves. When someone comes close enough we feel attacked and are often inclined to fight back with irrational behavior based on feelings and emotions. Ironically, this in turn only confirms our weakness and increases frustration.

Another reason why selling to family or friends can be hard is how sooner or later everyone - even the most perceived professional - is inconsistent in behavior patterns. When what we say is not in line with what we do, we automatically lose respect in the eyes of those around us. Close relationships experience this on a regular basis. This lack of respect causes words to lose power and influence, because words are only a function of feelings.

Still, more important than "why" is "what". It's true, it can be harder to please or sell to family or friends, depending on our true long term character. What's more important is what can we do to make the switch? How can we make a "sale" to the people with whom we have our most meaningful relationships?

Well, the secret is of course this: The toughest sale is potentially the BEST sale!

If we could, we should seek to make every contact and call a personal and meaningful relationship. Some people will respond to this by saying: "I make a clear distinction between professional and personal or private life". WRONG!

WHAT??! What does this mean?

Let me suggest what it could mean, and then you tell me what you think such a statement might imply: When all is said and done, basically what this boils down to is... "I cannot afford to open up to business contacts like I do with family and friends, because if I do they'll find I'm not only full of mistakes and lose respect for me, but they'll also discover how insincere I am by how I'm unwilling to work on my character, mistakes and weaknesses to make the needed changes".

Let me share one of my own deep flaws to illustrate:

I used to blame my parents for regularly being late when promising to pick me up as a young boy. The other day my wife called me and asked me whether I could pick up one of our oldest children after art class. I said I would, and then she added a warning: "Vidar, I was asked whether someone else than dad could do it, because he's always late". Ah! That stung so bad and so deep in my chest. So unfair, I thought. I've made EVERY possible effort to ALWAYS be on time. It stayed with me the rest of the day. That bitter feeling would not go. Then, an hour before I was to fulfill my important dead-on-time-appointment, I suddenly made a great discovery... I knew I had been a few minutes late the last two pick-ups. Even though with good reason, of course my behavior had been generalized and not forgotten. All the other times, when I had been on time, these times were all taken for granted. Of course that was unfair, but here's what I discovered: I had done the same thing with my own parents. Suddenly I was able to remember all the "forgotten times" when mum and dad had picked me up ON TIME. My heart sank and instantly changed from being judgmental to thankful for the wonderful patient parents I have - who were on time. Bitterness was gone.

How do you think I approached my child that evening? 'nough said - it was a great experience and a perfect "sell". However, more important than everything else - as a father (read: e.g. vendor) - I am more committed than EVER to deliver according to contract with regards to all my children.

I was speaking with my daughter the other day about how our thoughts automatically appear in our face. When we think good thoughts a pleasant and happy appearance naturally surfaces. If we think bad thoughts, they too are mirrored in our countenance. You may think it's "childish doctrine", but it's simple and a plain fact.

This basic principle holds true and carries weight and value in so many settings - one of which is communication. When we are sincere, it shows in our face. When we have passion, it reveals itself. When we get emotional, is shines through. What a great human trait this is. We can read each other in many ways, but most of all in our facial expressions, and above all by looking each other in the eye. It's as if the eyes are the soul at public display. Ouff! Great and dreadful, all at once. Scary in one way, because it exposes us as to who we really are. Exciting in that we can "read" and learn the true character of others.

I love the exercise of just observing other people during conversations - not too intensely, because that easily creates awkward feelings - but being very aware of the way we reveal ourselves through that most unique window - our eyes - to the outside world.

Consistent behavior over time will reveal our thoughts, our words, our action, our habits - our lifestyle. Everything is recorded and shows over time. Today, when you're interacting with others, try to perceive what maybe slipped your observations in the past. Look people in the eye. You'll see who they really are, because the eyes have it, and the eyes are what makes all the difference.

Do we have trouble looking people straight in the eye?

I know sales people who, when they learn about the Emotional Commitment (EC), want this without paying the price to get it. The price to pay is a price to pay and it is first and foremost this: We need to be sincere.

What does being sincere mean?

Judging from the diagram and illustration on the process of reaching a solid commitment, sincerity is a three-step process to becoming truly sensitive:

1. First we need to know what we want
2. Then we need to understand what others want
3. Finally we need to stay objectively tuned in to outside impressions

Intuitively and quite naturally, most people instantly react to the above mentioned order by saying: "That can't be right! We first need to understand others, then we can seek to be understood." My response is: You're totally right. However, this is not about understanding first - it's about first knowing what we want. It's being aware of who we are, about having a mission and purpose - an identity. Without an identity we don't even have the internal security and perspective that it takes to begin the process of understanding others.

Someone trying to promote a product without first having true insight into oneself (e.g. the product or company), can never progress to step two of understanding others. This is true in both a micro or macro perspective. HERE is the main flaw and where most sales people fail. We get it wrong from the very beginning by promoting something we're not convinced about ourselves. It's almost like being without mission and purpose. Only when done in the right order can we become truly caring for others and sincere in our interaction. This sincerity is what ultimately makes it possible to interact with others in such a way that we can reach an Emotional Commitment (EC). If we're not sincere, hypocrisy will inevitably surface. The subconscious picks it up instantly and we fail.

And by the way - all of this relates to not only selling, but every aspect of life; a happy marriage, teaching children, management, politics etc. I'll say it again: First we need passion, then we seek connection. These two precede the ability to innovate by the power of intuition touching the inside and most personal level of others. That which stimulates deep ownership to a commitment - emotional commitment!

Check out my previous post where I've included an illustration of what an emotional commitment is about and how it is reached. Today I want to point out what I believe should be the ultimate objective in EVERY sales call.

Our main goal is not to trigger an interest only, neither to only tie the customer's needs to the product or service - our goal is not even to connect with subjective needs. We can do more and we should do more than that. We need to reach the point of emotion that exceeds the mere fulfillment of a personal need, but also a personal emotional desire. We need to reach the feelings of others - to touch values - the emotional level. This is what triggers energy. Let me illustrate with an experience - this time not directly sales related, but which explains what I mean:

Some time ago management was discussing opening a new office in another continent - other side of the globe - far away. I challenged one of my colleagues to be responsible for opening this office and region. It involved a major change and a lot of work - no easy commitment. As we discussed some of the details of how we should proceed passion became the essence of the discussion. Once I felt we were on the same wavelength I took the conversation to the next level by seeking to establish a connection between personal objectives and the job at hand. Not really hard to do (you know the drill). When everything was pretty much in place, I began digging for emotions: "How do you feel about leaving your colleagues and be on your own like this..?" (A potential concern I sensed was there.) The dialog dramatically changed. The questions themselves were not magical, but the previous build up of the conversation made them powerful. We now began sharing personal stuff - heart aches, feelings, frustrations and over time new ideas. A few tears were shed on both sides and our commitment to actually do this and succeed tripled, and then some.

This is emotional commitment. In short: Every effort made in sales should aim to move closer to an emotional commitment. Mostly it takes time, but it's the most powerful kind of dialog. It doesn't need to involve crying, but everyone knows when feelings and the emotional level is reached. THIS is when we release maximum energy in both parties - you and me.