Helping to ask WHY is key --ultimately the only way-- to seriously motivating people. When we help people ask WHY-questions they will inevitably be inspired to self driven action. But asking WHY can also hurt, in fact, if we're not careful WHY may be counterproductive and do a lot of damage.

The natural tendency for any parent, spouse, manager, colleague or coach is to ask WHY when something goes wrong. The "WHY did you...? approach" can be counterproductive when coming from another person in retrospect. WHY seldom rectifies the wrong when filled with blame and guilt. We drive the other person into a defensive mode. Just think about it... When we make a mistake, most of the time it's hard to explain WHY we made a bad choice, and it certainly isn't fun to elaborate on stupid mistakes. While the other person is on the defence - shutting out external influence - we tend to respond by attacking the behavior. In other words, when we sense that WHY fails we quickly move into giving advice by telling the other person WHAT he or she should have been doing.

I see people doing this all the time. Let's be clear. It doesn't work.

Lesson # 1: How we tend to fail

When someone is to blame we tend to "ask WHY and tell WHAT".

Lesson # 2: How we can succeed

To inspire others to change we should "ask WHAT and discuss WHY".

By making a fairly simple switch from the ineffective "asking WHY and telling WHAT" to the effective "asking WHAT and discussing WHY" we make a meaningful difference in the lives of others. We get rid of blaming and fighting. Instead we introduce fruitful discussion. Just try it out. You'll quickly discover the positive effect it has!

									Asking WHAT means we establish objectively the things that went wrong. Once we've agreed what went wrong, then discussing WHY will be an opportunity to appreciate new and mutual learning. Suddenly asking WHY becomes positive and has meaning. It becomes a solution to problems to prevent them from happening again. It points the way to a brighter future and instills hope - it makes passion grow - makes mission become clear. WHY is the beginning of everything!

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Few sales people are aware of the sales pulse and how it is the ultimate tool to measure whether you're headed for failure or success. Just like physical health, pulse indicates if you are leading a balanced effort in sales. Sales success doesn't come by chance. Consistent sales success largely depends on how you measure your sales pulse and whether or not you apply your findings to develop Passion, Connection and Intuition.

To explain the consept of "sales pulse" I usually share an eye opening experience of when I acquired a rather sophisticated pulse watch to keep track of my regular exercise. This watch helps me monitor my heart rate. If applied the right way, it also encourages me to balance the workout, specifically with the heart rate in mind. To make effective use of the watch it requires some basic information input, such as age, weight, resting heart rate (RHR) and maximum heart rate (MHR). This is to adapt all feedback to my actual physical state and condition.

A pulse watch guides you in making a balanced effort.

Before I start the timer it encourages me to select a so-called "heart rate training zone". My choice, of course, depends on the objectives of the workout. The first time I chose the Aerobic Zone I made an interesting discovery. As the watch beeps whenever BPM (Beats Per Minute) is too high or too low, with me it would not stop beeping. At first I thought something had to be wrong. Surely I had put in the appropriate and correct data!? I was running like I always did. There was nothing wrong with the data nor the watch. I just had to slow down. Up until then I had always maintained an intensity much too high for this type of exercise. What I thought was normal and right was not only ineffective - it kept me from reaching my long term objectives and goals.

Slow down to increase performance

A balanced effort is not about going slower. It's quite the opposite. A balanced effort is going as fast as possible, but keeping the long term perspective in mind. We want high performance, always, not just haphazardly off and on. Just like me, replacing "too intense training" with slower running for an extended period of time, balance provided me the necessary oxygen I needed to gain a greater appreciation for aerobic exercise. In addition, slowing down improved my balance helping me perform better also in the Anaerobic Zone. In sum, it made me run a lot faster, but also, and this is the point, over longer distances I spent less strength to finish the race faster.

A healthy heart affects all else.

In much the same way as no--body-- is able to run at maximum speed all the time physically, so it is with mental and social performance and capacity. To deliver both short term and long term results we need to vary our speed as circumstance requires - at different time intervals. Even though occasional sprinting is needed, most of the time a steady pace is what gets you the results you're aiming for. The long term objective of physical exercise is a more healthy heart, body and mind - increased stamina, strength and flexibility to deliver remarkable results, and oftentimes specifically to outperform competition.

The sales equivalent of the physical heart, body and mind lies in Passion, Connection and Intuition.

The sales pulse

Just like it takes extra effort to keep track of your physical pulse (you have to measure it), so it is with the sales pulse. There are ways to measure your sales pulse to determine your current condition and what's needed to increase your capacity. Let me illustrate with an experience I had when I was brand new in sales:

I was a telesales rep in Oracle. Our team did extremely well and we sold licenses for millions of dollars. However, in spite of all the success we had, one of my colleagues clearly stood out. This made no sense to me. I would look at the call stats and find that his time on the phone was way below that of the others, especially mine. I was always leading the way when it came to putting in hard hours of work. It didn't seem fair to me that he should sell twice as much as me with "half the time and effort".

Having gone through this painful realization for several months, I finally decided to humbly ask him why this was the case: "Why are you selling so much more than me, putting in so few hours?" His advice, which I won't elaborate on at this time, caused me serious reflection. I realized that his pace was slow, that whatever he did was well thought through and that his focus was on quality, rather than quantity. This WHY question triggered an amazing chain of events which led me to asking WHAT questions, WHO questions and HOW. The results were staggering.

Why? I resolved to make deep and profound changes because someone helped me measure my sales pulse and pointed me in a better direction. Believe it or not, this type of fine tuning is constantly needed, regardless of how successful you are. Any good athlete keeps track of the condition of his or her heart.

How to measure the sales pulse

Slowing down represents the ability to pause and ask effective questions to increase self reflection about basic belief systems.

			Checking pulse to assess progress.							The sales pulse is mainly measured by asking WHY and WHAT questions. Action oriented corrections are usually made by asking WHO and HOW questions. (And in case you're wondering, WHEN is part of HOW.) Just as physical pulse variations are natural, so are also sales pulse variations always present. The physical heart rate varies depending on factors such as heat and humidity, dehydration and altitude. Also, biological variation hits in, causing heart rate variations on a daily basis between 2-4 beats per minute. Sales pulse variations are similar. We'll look into those next time, as well as how we measure the sales pulse specifically.

If you want to know more about the subject, you may want to read The key to motivation as well as other related articles.

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Take a quick time-out. I encourage you to watch three YouTube clips that exemplify the power of WHY and WHAT - how it defies the expectations of our surroundings.

Did you have the privilege of following Paul Potts in the "Britain's Got Talent" show? This man inspired millions of people with his passion for singing.

								Notice how Paul Potts clearly states his WHY... "I feel it's what I'm born to do", followed by his WHAT... "I've always wanted to sing as a career". Watch the first appearance of Paul Potts. Passion will carry you through any opposition. Passion makes you unstoppable! See what this means by watching the intro to Paul Potts' performance in the semi finale. (Click on the link to appreciate the next paragraph!) Paul Potts is a wonderful example of how talent and "the big public victory" he experienced much later was born inside many years before him being discovered. That's what passion does; fruits over time. Watch Paul Potts' performance in the grand finale. Remember, the secret behind talent is first and foremost passion!

(Here's a bonus clip if you feel like watching more of Paul Potts.)

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Said a famous philosopher: "Tell me WHY and I'll move heaven and earth to do it". WHY is the key to peak performance. Given this, you may be wondering: Is it possible to produce outstanding improvement through simple things?

									I have great news... Yes it is possible to harness dramatic change by simple means. In fact, keeping it simple is key to phenomenal improvement. Simply start by asking WHY and then listen. If you're asking yourself, listen to what thoughts come to mind. If you're asking a team member, pause and don't interrupt. Regardless, the right WHY questions will work wonders, I guarantee. As we've looked at these questions from different angles now, let's summarize the WHY, WHAT, WHO and HOW questions with a business example, just to illustrate how it can be applied in every day life:

We are about to switch to a new employer. The most effective question could be as simple as...

• WHY should I work here?

If the answers qualify for an overlap in mission and purpose, the first question you'll be looking into as a new-hire is also pretty self evident...

• WHAT is it that we offer?

Once we know our value to society or the market place, it's wise to clarify as best we can...

• WHO will care and want to collaborate?

Then, finally, the question that really brings every other question to full fruition is...

• HOW should we go about it?

Let's review each question category and look more closely at what their fruits are.

MISSION

primarily comes from asking WHY

Do you believe knowing WHY will make a difference in your job? I mean, really knowing why?! Most people, even when they leave a job in favour of another, never fully understood why they were there... and that's in fact partly why they switch to another company and/or position. When anyone comes even close to performing on the job, this someone has a serious WHY burning inside them. They're usually more loyal and stay on for a longer time. Check it out, if you will.

PASSION

primarily comes from asking WHAT

Some sales managers frequently are afraid of investing "product knowledge" in their team members, simply because they've experienced how a little knowledge easily makes sales people less inclined to being open and listen to client needs. Of course the tendency is there, but that's because they only get irregular and/or insufficient training.

It is my experience that the best sales people also know best WHAT they have to offer. If they're passionate about it, because they know WHAT they have, then that's a perfect foundation. But note this; if they're passionate and at the same time know little about the offering, it is very much likely that the sales rep is biased and you'd better be careful, both as an employer and as a client. A biased sales rep often has characterics such as dishonesty, hidden agendas, fictitious and fluctuating motivation and maybe most importantly little or no ownership to what is being delivered.

CONNECTION

primarily comes from asking WHO

So often I meet with sales people that have a fantastic product and/or service offering, but somehow they're unable to seriously produce results. On almost every occasion it's due to their not having done the simple exercise of finding out who they should be speaking with. Even when they are speaking with the right people, they know little about why the solution or offering matters to them.

INTUITION

primarily comes from asking HOW

Most sales training jumps straight into HOW, and because of that it is less effective. That's why most training, I'd even claim almost all training, only has short term results.

If, however, people also are becoming highly skilled in HOW, invariably something magical happens to them. Something inside them begins to glow. Some call it self esteem. Regardless of what it is, when skills become natural "the real person" seems to come out and uniquely influences the situation. This is when we begin to see intuition in action.

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If you want excellence you need to start in the right place and then follow through. This text answers where to start. When you apply the principles described here and in other related blog posts, you'll find that current problems transform into stepping stones, and that the battle for success wasn't really where you originally thought it was.

There are two kinds of WHY questions. If you want to be successful, you not only need to ask WHY, but also the right kind of WHY. Should you ask WHY the wrong way your efforts will work against you and become counterproductive. Let's take a closer look at all this...

We've already pointed out how success might not be what you think it is. For instance, success is mostly quality, not quantity.

We've also clarified how most people tend to ask WHAT instead of first searching and scrutinizing WHY. Skipping straight to WHAT leads to a misplaced focus on having rather than becoming.

		Cerebellum, the "little brain", highlighted in blue down below								With this in mind it's time to address what those "right WHY questions" really are. In my last blogpost it was suggested that WHY can trigger the powers of the subconscious mind. For a moment let's take a factual scientific approach: When answers to WHY is gradually becoming clear to someone, i.e. a person begins to define purpose and belief systems, the subconscious mind will become a team player to support those beliefs. More specifically, it will feed the "little brain" or the human cerebellum with positive signals, it being responsible for posture and every type of movement - movement of every single muscle in the entire body. (Can you see how all of this is about energy?)

Every one of us is a public display of deep belief systems, and we cannot help it. Those are the facts.

Why the right WHY is crucial

Now, consider this: There are proactive and reactive WHY questions. Some WHY's seem to activate us positively while others tend to passify and depress. We're talking about positive and negative energy - how some activities seem to energize us through healthy reflection while others slow down or dull our momentum.

For instance, putting it bluntly, when someone we love dies, asking "WHY did this have to happen?" is likely to drive you into self pity and depression. A WHY of this kind is of course tempting to linger on, but it is of little help and to no avail.

A better approach might be to ask "WHY am I still alive"? Can you see how immediately this question brings us back to purpose? Can you see how it will make us search out positive meaning? Can you see how it will trigger subconscious activity that soon will inspire you back on your feet and running?

Of course, WHY is a process. In fact, WHY questions belong to the time-outs of life. Are you good at taking regular breaks to reflect on deeper questions? If you are, you'll find that it serves you well. Decide NOW to pull back for at least a few minutes once a day - slow down. It's the beginning of greatness.

Great things are emotional

If we have even just a tiny bit of ambition, what Brian Tracy calls "the belief that I can do better", then we'll strive to accomplish and somehow do "great things".

The conscious mind strives to do "great things". However, the conscious mind is logical and slow, seeking to logically work success. Remember, success is mostly emotional. But emotional results, the great things, are not controlled nor influenced mainly by the conscious mind. Emotions belong to the irrational and psycho--logical-- subconscious mind. The great things the conscious mind seeks to logically accomplish are emotionally accomplished by the subconscious. And what is it that trigger the emotions from the subconscious mind? It's so simple, it's almost scary: When you start the process of asking WHY - WHY in the right way. If there is such a thing as great things, then at least they are emotional.

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." (Mother Teresa)

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Most professionals seem to know that effective selling basically is about asking questions. If that's the case, then why don't sales trainers apply the same principle? It's because somehow they believe they can teach excellence. They see training as "putting in" all the great things they know. But teaching and training isn't something we put into others, rather it's pulling out what's already inside them.

I've seen it many times. Leaps of dramatic improvement in people only comes from one side; the inside! And when from the inside it can be instantaneous, surprising and uncontrolling. It's a paradigm shift - sometimes almost like an explosion.

Quite frankly, most of the sales trainers and managers I've been involved with believe their people need to learn from them. They may say they believe in inside-out, but really they don't, because their behavior implies otherwise. They tend to "tell and preach" as opposed to "ask and draw forth". I call this breed of so-called trainers "trapped experts".

As a result, trapped experts seldom experience staggering and life changing improvements in the people around them. They never quite make the discovery of how people indeed are great in the first place. The mission of a teacher or trainer is to bring out the greatness in others through igniting them with passion. Ironically, trapped experts stay at it, almost as if they're unknowingly caged in "a training prison".

The training prison

Trapped sales experts believe they're on the outside, trying to get in and help those poor sales people break out of prison. What they don't know is that in reality they are themselves imprisoned, unconsciously fighting to keep everybody else behind bars. The key to unlocking the prison is two-fold:

1. Trust and faith in the amazing abilities of every individual
2. Patient and effective interaction through questioning to help individuals discover themselves, grow and come alive

Igniting passion

So how do we bring individuals and teams out of the sales prison, or for that matter, how do we break out of it ourselves?

The main reason for the training defect is of course that trapped experts never broke out of their own prison to begin with. It simply is impossible to lift others beyond our own level or degree of freedom and passion.

I frequently share my own "Golf or Die" example to illustrate how powerful "breaking out of the sales prison" can be:

Personally I don't care much for golf. Many of my friends and contacts, however, love the game. In fact, a lot of them have a deep passion for golf. It's always interesting to see what happens when I, and sometimes on purpose, tell them I don't enjoy the game. It also helps to further emphasize how I feel golf is indeed a complete waste of time.

The response is always immediate and the same: First, energy surges from inside. It swells and grows until they become unstoppable. Then they spill their guts and personal emotions about why they're converted to the most fascinating and enriching experience on the planet. At this stage, there's no need to remind them that they hate selling or any of the sort. Selling "golf" is natural and fulfills a need in itself. Also, any objection from me only fires them up even more. They've transformed - within minutes - into the most brilliant, persuasive, almost charismatic personality and character in the room. Now, change the subject, and they're quickly back to what we ironically call "normal". What a waste!

Tapping into the subconscious mind

Can you imagine what each one of us has on the inside? I believe only few, if any, of us can. There's an amazing power in how passion awakens the subconscious mind. The ratio of the conscious versus the subconscious mind is appx 1 to 70,000,000. Just think about it! Passion actually triggers a change that aspires to being equal to 70 million times your "normal" capacity. It sounds crazy.

We're mostly limited by our own mind. This limitation can be gradually overcome by "reaching out". Asking questions is a way of reaching out, and in reaching out we inspire others. We invite them to come out of their shell. However, at the same time, in the process of asking questions and "seeking for answers" we open ourselves up to reflection. Reflection is equal to "becoming" and venturing on the path of realising and discovering our own potential.

So in summary, the best way to start the process of breaking out of prison is by asking WHY-questions. When we start asking WHY, then we begin to reflect on purpose and meaning. It stretches us and makes us tap into the powers of the subconscious mind. How? Stay tuned for the next post ;-)

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If you ever had the ambition of becoming an expert in sales or any area of persuasive communication you will need to help your team or organization address the most basic questions.

...and most of all, you need to ask these questions yourself.

The questions you need to ask yourself as well as instill in others are WHY, WHAT, WHO and HOW - and in that order. They in turn, give us the structure of the entire subject of sales or selling activity. No more do you need to look for a complete overview of what selling is all about.

We have defined the single most important element of motivating employees and people. I am convinced motivating others is among the most noble tasks in life.

					To motivate another person you need to help him or her discover their own WHY. The very moment someone knows the answer to WHY, that someone will immediately experience pain and dissatisfaction. This pain comes from the gap between where they are today and where they want to be. Without a clear WHY (i.e. reasons or purpose) there will be no pain and no experienced gap, hence no motivation.

Motivated employees

Have you ever experienced someone with no perceived purpose? We all have. In fact, I dare say most people give little thought to purpose at all. In stead they spend their strength asking WHAT, WHO and HOW and thus become obsessed with immediate gratification and pleasure - of having more than being and becoming. Any wonder why we find so many employees and professional individuals today only half-heartedly and/or cynically pushing company interests? They don't really care. If an obstacle bars their way, they simply go around it.

While training people I always feel sorry for whoever is superficially motivated by WHAT, WHO and HOW. It's so very obvious. Without exploring the deeper WHY there isn't much mission or "life" left. Without WHY we're not really living, but are being lived - not really working, but rather being worked up. Also, without a deep desire and drive the ability to enjoy is as it were non-existent, too. Without ***WHY*** WHAT, WHO and HOW are only a shallow exercise to satisfy short term needs and wants.

Employees need "a WHY perspective" to a bright and clearly defined future. If they haven't got the mental picture you may need to help them paint it.

Mission of a manager

Your own WHY cannot be projected on to others. Each individual needs to discover it for him or herself. Our task becomes one of facilitation helping one person at a time to identify this WHY. When we do, something magical takes place.

As you can see, the essence of motivation is in fact selling. When you motivate someone, really what you're doing is selling. I cannot imagine a more noble task than inspiring and motivating other people. Selling is helping people discover their purpose - waking them up - giving them a life. Can you see why the art of selling (or motivation) is so paramount to any other subject or talent, especially in a manager?!

A manager that doesn't know how to sell should never be left in charge of human resources!

It's ironic! High performing sales people are just like profitable customers: They are driven by a mission and purpose (i.e. WHY). Their burning desire leads them to what we call "desperate dissatisfaction" (i.e. WHAT, WHO and HOW).

	The WHY keeps the flame burning to answer WHAT, WHO and HOW.							What is it that perpetuates a burning flame in sales personel, or to make a comparison, in our most profitable customers? Profitable customers know WHY they're in business and they join forces with vendors WHO help them with HOW they can accomplish WHAT they want. Unless you're into coaching and consulting, the short version of business is "WHAT, WHO and HOW", the three dissatisfactions. If you can't help the best companies find the best answers to WHAT, WHO and HOW you're losing business to competitors that do. WHAT, WHO and HOW each represent a specific type of dissatisfaction: Distrust Disability Discouragement

(WHAT) From distrusted to entrusted

The most fundamental part of any success is trust. Trust begins with WHAT. It's down to such things as your track record, what you've done in the past and what you stand for. If what you have to offer based on your history fulfills their purpose (WHY), then this overlap becomes the driver of continued value innovation. One of the initial dialogs with a customer should always be aimed at answering:

• What are you seeking to accomplish?

(WHO) From disabled to enabled

People without people are disabled. The great enabler is WHO. Some say: "It's not what you know, but who you know". The saying is almost true, but in the long run, the correct rendition of reality is "it's what you know and who you know". To build any successful win-win the starting question always is:

• To whom is this important?

(HOW) From discouraged to encouraged

Not knowing how causes feelings of despair and discouragement. The way to encourage performance is helping others discover HOW. Rather than projecting our own solutions on to others, we should pose queries centering around:

• How do you want to do it?

Just like customers, sales people first need to know why. Either help your sales people find out WHY or don't hire them at all. They will never burn like you want them to if they don't know why - from their perspective.

So you're a manager and some team members are not performing equal to their potential. What do you do?

I will tell you right up front. The root cause of poor performance is the unanswered WHY. Every individual who is not running at "max speed" is somehow struggling with the WHY. We see this everywhere! Here's an example to illustrate:

In one of the world's largest and most successful companies I was recently asked to turn around a sales team of 26 Account Managers from poor to peak performance. One young man clearly stood out. In spite of his being inexperienced and new on the job his performance was out of the ordinary.

During our coaching session I asked him: "Why are you here"? It was as I expected. Unlike any of the others, as soon as we tapped into WHY, he could hardly stop talking. He knew! He told me about his desire to learn how to sell, about his failures in the past, about his feeling frustrated about his life and about how he wanted to make a serious change. Most of all, he wanted to be reunited with his family.

The sum of all these WHY's gave him the reasons he needed to perform on the job. They drove him to performance. Nobody had to push him. He was pulling himself.

When we know WHY our entire being shifts from "content" to what I like to call "desperate dissatisfaction". Reflecting on WHY helps us realise a number of important dissatisfactions, all of which can be grouped into three areas:

1. Distrusted - WHAT
2. Disabled - WHO
3. Discouraged - HOW

Next time I'll comment on each of the above dissatisfactions.

Yes, motivation may be a challenging task, but no more do you need to wonder about where to start: Go one-on-one and begin the process of exploring WHY.