Regardless of what project you're in and no matter what your purpose or task might be, sooner or later we always end up asking ourselves: "Things are not going too well... what can I do to improve?"
I believe there are at least three basic questions we can always come back to and greatly benefit from. In my experience, every time I explore these three areas I reach new levels of understanding and conviction.
So what?
Passion, Connection and Intuition each lead to three distinct levels of conviction. Passion leads to inner conviction. Connection leads to shared conviction and Intuition leads to discovered conviction. Here are three suggestions to how this can be applied - right now - today:
- Increase passion by thinking
- read inspiring literature - discover WHAT
- then... take time to reflect and explore
- then... take notes
- then... make commitments and execute
- Strengthen connection by interacting
- spend time with inspiring people - discover WHO
- then... take time to listen
- then... take notes
- then... make commitments and execute
- Follow intuition by leaving your comfort zone
- seek inspiring challenges and environments - discover HOW
- then... look for opportunities
- then... be flexible and accept the speed of the moment
And the best thing is, pick whichever area you'd like to start with. There is, however, a principle based order to these energies, as you've probably noticed: 1) ignite yourself, 2) ignite others and 3) ignite your surroundings. Try to cheat the order of this and you'll find you're up against a headwind. If you apply yourself to the process, you'll see, wind will start blowing your way.
Whether you're a father, a friend, a boss, teacher, coach or even a lowly servant by formal definition, you're always serving and you cannot effectively do so unless you win the hearts of the people you are trying to reach.
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During our life we fill many different roles. Regardless of which role, in every setting we deal with other people. In fact, a role is exactly about just that: "Who am I in relation to you"? (See also Wikipedia to further explore the meaning of a "role".)
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You've heard it before... the old adage "I don't care how much you know until I know how much you care" sums it up. And even though it's that basic, even though it's common sense, unfortunately it's not common practise. Too many of us are consumed by our own agenda. This time, decide to make that basic change. Don't just read this. Make it happen!
Passion
Well, here's a challenge you will appreciate, and I will turn it into a conditional promise: You cannot win another's heart until your own heart is right. And a heart that is right is open to the vibes of another.
Connection
And what does this mean in practical daily living? Next time you're with another person bring yourself to really look that person in the eye. Then ask yourself, what does this person really want? If you feel uncertain you may even want to ask them.
Intuition
Thoughts will come to your mind - ideas will flow. Then, it's time to act, to reap the fruits of inspiration: Do whatever it takes to give it to them. And remember, the higher the cost and personal sacrifice it requires, the better it feels - for both of you.
And it's not just smart. It's life!
Just because résumés and track records are being used to filter out and find the best sales people doesn't mean they're worth something. In fact, past success only means you did well in the past. It doesn't guarantee you'll be successful in the future.
Your past success can make future success pretty hard in more than one way...
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For instance, successful sales people tend to be promoted. Most of them stay sharp, but some stop exercising that sales muscle, become arrogant and self centered and lose the edge they used to have on life.
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The real deal
Why are you in sales? Is it for the money?
Sure, I earn my living that way, and it's good. But you know what. The reason I love selling is because it puts me right where I want to be; in the hottest furnace of constant communication training. If there's one area I'd like to master then it's the ability to reach someone else with a message. And by "reach" I mean totally embrace, both ways, i.e. I embrace you and you embrace me.
If you're asking me, I believe this is the toughest most noble of all tasks in any person's life: To constantly increase the talent of bringing someone over - not to "my way of thinking" - but to a higher shared level.
To me, that's what selling is about, and also how past success (i.e. your track record) can destroy what you have. When you think you're good, you're at risc, because pride may get in your way and stop you from delivering results now and in the future.
Energy is real. It's the stuff that's behind everything we do and say, and that stuff is either positive or negative. There's nothing in between. It's either positive or negative. Children easily pick up energy - instantly. For example, did you ever see a child that naturally sought the company of a stranger (positive energy)? Or vice versa, did you ever experience a person that every child shuns (negative energy)? Why? It's energy and it's as real as anything. Do you believe adults are the same way? You bet'ya!
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All our senses are in sum a constant antenna. Look at the picture of the child. Even long before its ability to speak this antenna is in place and working. You can only wonder why some parents never understand nor learn that a child's inner feelings and outward behavior directly reflects the energy they themselves send out.
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Most people see energy as some kind of undefined "something" beyond our own control. But there are loads of practical things we can do. Let's pinpoint a few (among millions) just to illustrate:
- regardless of pressure and stress, always get enough sleep and eat healthy food
- regardless of circumstance or people, decide to encourage and speak highly of others
- regardless of how you might feel right now, never let bad emotions influence immediate action
Many of the renowned sales gurus have created language to explain "energy" in their own words. Mahan Khalsa speaks about "intent" and "ego". Brian Tracy emphatically stresses the "psychology of selling". It doesn't matter what you call it, really. It's what comes from inside and spreads through the cracks. It makes ALL the difference!
Let's consider an every-day example of how energy makes all the difference while for instance raising a child or taking care of your family. Lillian and I have five children. As a family we've frequently discussed in family counsel how we'd like our mornings to be. But even though everyone puts forth an effort, with five kids ages four to twelve, there's bound to be some challenges - every single morning. How does energy apply in such a situation? And what does this have to do with sales or influence?
If I'm frustrated, irritated, impatient, tired, late or even just gradually growing angry, any one of these emotions will automatically transmit to the people around us - immediately. I may try to hide it, but really it's impossible to keep that energy inside. It all leaks out through the cracks. And we know it all too well, don't we?!
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But, you see, the trouble isn't really knowing and understanding. Remember, what's common sense isn't necessarily common practice out there... In fact, it's mostly exactly the opposite; what we know we should be doing, we often don't do. That's how it requires constant and conscious effort to stay focused on positive energy. Now, let's look at why it makes such a difference to do so. | |
I should be the first to admit, I don't always succeed. Reflect for a moment on what might be the elements of a typical morning for any of us...
(1) Getting up
PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: When the alarm goes off, our partner gets up, but we ourselves might be tempted to just slumber a tiny bit longer. Already at this point negative feelings may start building up inside. Children jump into our bed, someone turns on the bright light or opens the curtains, we get reminders of how much there's to do today, and even when we do get up, both the toilet and shower are occupied.
PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: The night before we've retired early. Together with our partner we wake up before everyone else, well rested. We make our bed together and turn on pleasent music in the living room. The volume is so low you can hardly hear the music. Family members wake up with a hug and kind words. Whenever anyone does anything to trigger bad feelings we remind ourselves: "I love this person!" and we ask "I wonder how he or she feels right now / how can I be of help?"
(2) Getting breakfast
PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: Everyone's hungry and looks out for their own breakfast. When someone enters the kitchen another leaves. It's usually best to be among the first to eat, because sometimes we run out of milk or even bread. The kitchen is messy from yesterday when we didn't take the time to clean it up. Sometimes there's unkind words spoken as the rush and disorganized meal causes frustration or even accidents. The youngest kids are at times alone in the kitchen, when everyone else is going back and forth trying to get ready... not smart!
PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: The night before the table has been set by one of the kids. Breakfast starts at seven sharp. If someone's late, nobody calls out loud for the missing person. Rather, it's an opportunity to give that someone another a hug and a compliment. Breakfast is kind of slow. Some of us are just quiet. There's time to think, to wake up and time to speak and ask questions as we check up on some of the most important upcoming events of the day. When fruit and vitamins have been swallowed we're ready for another day.
(3) Getting out the door
PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: While everyone is more or less desparately scrambling together their stuff, you regularly discover that a shoe or a glove is missing. Someone's yelling for more toilet paper while others are brushing their teeth, too fast and in a hurry. Parents repeat the threatening warning everyone knows so well: "You're gonna be late for school - again!"
PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: "Good luck with the test today" becomes everybody's que to getting ready. The table is cleared by all in less than a minute. Someone's telling a joke as hugs and kisses are passed and the youngest kids stand waving at the door. It's tradition!
Your feelings about the others
The difference lies in how you feel about the people around you. The above mentioned path to positive energy is of course never that perfect! It rarely is. However, there are proactive elements in it that makes it much easier to keep a sincere and heartfelt smile on your face - throughout the remainder of the day.
Getting up, getting breakfast and getting out the door are all activities that repeat themselves every day. Even if you're single and alone, there's always a number of "good reasons" to quickly start tapping into negative energy right from the very start. If you do, however, you'll only generate more negativity. Why not think it through, discuss the details and decide what you want, together?
People who take control of how the day starts tend to sincerely and honestly think more positively and highly of the people around them. As a result they also find themselves surrounded by people that want to and indeed do return those positive feelings.
If energy is to work for you and not against you here's what you may want to consider: Retire early in the evening and start the next day with a conscious effort to stay tuned in on the positive, especially every time you're tempted not to.
Today I'll share with you what seems to become the introduction to 3E:
Every single one of us has capacities beyond what we are aware of. Even talent and power beyond our wildest dreams. We are living receivers, bearers and channels of enormous amounts of energy. Do you believe that’s relevant to individual and team performance? Is it relevant to quality of life? It certainly is. Energy makes all the difference.
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Sometimes we are placed in situations or circumstances in which we may get a glimpse of this energy. But most of our lives we hardly draw on any of those unique powers. I say hardly, but that's not entirely true. We actually make use of them all the time, but only in minor proportions to the amount of 0,1 % or much less. Yet, sometimes in brief moments we might experience pure magic.
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Maybe the most obvious moments are when we're under extreme pressure or have to fight for our life caused by sudden danger. It is well documented that almost everything we do can in fact be multiplied by a factor of hundreds, thousands or even hundreds of thousands when we must or when motivation is focused and channeled in the same and right direction.
This book is about that power which is built into our very system as human beings. It is about what some would refer to as "being in the zone". It is about how both we ourselves and the world around us instantly can change to dramatically perform at levels we normally perceive to be impossible.
I don't expect every reader to understand what I'm going to share, but I do know - from experience - that if you want to understand I can show you on a practical level what is required to seriously increase the frequency of what people perceive as coincidence. To some, success may seem like coincidence, but when you look behind what happened you’ll always find that special ingredient - energy.
Do you want to know what's missing when things don't quite work out as you'd like it to? There's probably a number of important issues, but in my experience, energy is always among them. And believe me, it sure doesn't hurt to have a little more of it.
What's common sense is often not common at all. Here's one case to prove it when it comes to effective communication.
Three dialogs are always running at the same time, and they're there regardless of whether you want them to or not. When two or more people interact the following applies, and you better be aware of it:
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Operational dialogThe context in which we interact ("position") Opinional dialogThe feelings behind words and how they are perceived ("relation") Optimal dialogHow we communicate ("perfection") |
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If you're mindful of all three, you'll experience high levels of mutual understanding, and the likelihood of influencing others increases.
Over the years clients sometimes have built dysfunctional procurement routines to protect themselves from dysfunctional sales people and sales systems. In fact, "sometimes" is a euphemism. In my experience, almost every organization has to varying degrees a dysfunctional procurement culture. These flaws arise mostly from sales people who do not honestly protect client interests in the pursuit of short term business. What can you do today to reverse this trend?
There are loads of books written touching this subject. In Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play, Mahan Kalsa and Randy Illig beautifully elaborate on the matter. Maybe, in my opinion, they do so better than anyone else up to this point. For this reason, quite frankly, this book is simply a must read!
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You can do many things to combat dysfunctional selling. When you do so, you'll promote the development of healthy and open procurement models. One basic habit inevitably reinforces ways to how you better can protect client interests. It is this: Seek out senior sales people and executives and ask them what they would have done differently had they started their careers today. The advice you'll get, you'll see, almost always will point you in the direction of how to --better protect client interests--.
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"Time is money"! Says who? If it's just money, then time sure isn't worth much, is it!? That kind of thinking, such a poor paradigm, will not produce the results you have it inside you to deliver.
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Time is not only money. Time is the stuff that allows you to make a difference.
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The first principle of influence or selling is POSITION. I often summarize the principle of position with two words: "It's Thursday!" What's position..? It's Thursday! If you haven't heard me explain it during training, here's it is.
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Your position in any sale is where it all starts, pluss it's what affects everything else. Think of it as a question to a customer about what he or she thinks of you and your offer. If you skip all the beating around the bush, every customer always has a very clear opinion of both you as a person and your offer, at any given time. You better believe it. You may not get it out of them, but they have one. Their perception of you and your offer, that's your position with them. If you hypnotized them they'd give it to you, loud and clear. | |||||||||
To illustrate. If someone were to ask me what day it is, I'd be able to respond promptly: "It's Thursday". No discussion. End of story. It's finite. Accepted. Taken for granted.
Is it a fact, though? Sure, it's a fact; it's Thursday. A relative fact, maybe..? What?! Well, what if the majority of the world's populace just decided to make it Friday? Hypothetically speaking, it's possible... But highly unlikely, don't you think? That's how position works, how position appears. It easily seems as though nothing can be done about it.
Position is the first principle of sales success. Position is perception of relative facts. "It's Thursday" is a relative fact. OK, it's an extreme example, but it's still relative. The principle of position as perception of relative facts teaches us a load of things. Maybe the first most obvious lesson is this:
(1) Your position will either work for or against you
So many times I do training and dig into specific business cases with sales people. Every time a sales team starts discussing real customer cases there's a number of recognizable characteristics in individuals that come to the surface. They reveal the differences between high and OK performers specifically related to the principle of position:
High Performers |
OK Performers |
| Understand the importance of a good position | Underestimate the power of position |
| At all times, are aware of their own position | Are unaware of their position |
| Are able to see what factors influences that position | See nothing but reasons why position is fixed and determined |
| Have confidence they can improve their position | Possess little faith in themselves and that position can be changed |
| Are unwilling to accept an unecessary poor position | Believe position is decided by fate |
| Plan and proactively spend their strength improving position | Go about traditional selling hoping circumstances will change |
| Have the wisdom to adapt to a poor position | Are unable to work around poor position |
You can see how one quality leads to the other, as these traits are listed almost in successive order. A second lesson that follows the first is:
(2) Change the position itself or you adapt to it
"It's Thursday" as an example of POSITION also illustrates how positions in fact regularly change, we just need to be there when it happens. Either you change the position itself or you adapt to it. If you were to ask me again tomorrow, I'd say "it's Friday". Of course, you say. Well then, why don't you stay at it until you win that way. Almost always, I repeat, almost always, there are ways to change or improve your position, i.e. the way the customer perceives the facts about you and your offer. Typical positions we can influence are:
- a bad or malfunctioning product
- a poor brand or reputation
- a market in recession or tight budgets
- incompetent management, mine or yours
- a failed relationship with a customer or vendor
These are just examples. Now, today, consider your most important sale, right now. Ask yourself what your position is. If you're not sure you're in a better position than your competition (and competition is not just other companies, but every factor that competes with you getting the contract) then look closely at what can be done. You'll find there's always something.
I'm telling you, you can decide to be a high performer if you're willing to do what it takes to improve your position. You do this by either "working around the fact that it's Thursday or changing the relative fact that it's Thursday". Either way you can win!
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