What determines the rise and fall of man? Passion does. Passion is not just a tool in selling or influence. It's you! In fact, Passion is life itself. Passion is about what you open your heart to, and whatever you choose to let in will determine nothing less than the direction and outcome of your entire life.

								Maybe the most powerful feelings we ever experience is the sensation of Passion? For instance, do you remember your first and deep love? It may serve as an example of what Passion can feel like. Passion is when you become completely consumed by a desire so strong that everything

else matters less, or even close to nothing. This Passion, however, is still something you can choose. Passion - one of your greatest assets in life - doesn't need to be accidental, and it shouldn't be. We should carefully consider why and for what we open our Passionate powers. Why? Because it may (and I believe it indeed will) determine the direction and outcome of our entire life.

Let's consider two basic principles of Passion from which we may extract a few simple rules, and which when applied will produce the success every trainer, manager or even parent wants to achieve:

(1) Passion Precedes Results

In a professional setting the majority of the work force is not passionate at all. If they were, you'd see dramatic improvement both in performance and learning, instantly!

								Before we do training, therefore, we assess the level of Passion in each individual team member by the use of a tool called "Passion Assessment". (We also make use of similar tools for "Connection Assessment" and "Intuition Assessment"). Immediately after training "Passion Assessment" may give an indication of the quality of the event

itself. However, the long term results are of far greater concern. We have found that if team members' Passion from training remains for more than 21 days results naturally follow.

To make such a reality, team members need a burning WHY and WHAT to remain passionate. This makes all the difference!

RULE # 1: .Effective training includes at least 20% WHY and WHAT

(2) Passion Triggers Feelings

...and feelings are good. We want employees to be emotional about their work. The best employees are those who know how they feel and are able to both communicate and stay in control of their feelings in a balanced manner.

								The minute we start tapping into Passion an interesting thing frequently happens: Conflict comes out of the closet. Understand this: Conflict hampers Passion, big time! The exchange of honest opinions often is an early sign of Passion and therefore usually is a positive indicator of future success. Of course, to really kindle Passion those conflicts need to be talked through and resolved.

RULE # 2: Start building trust by getting feelings out in the open first

So to summarize...

If you want to be successful - if you want to influence others - you have to be passionate about WHY you do WHAT you do. You have to exercise influence in such a way that others become passionate too, i.e. self-sufficient and without your constant help in the long run.

Passion is what will determine your rise or fall. It will be how you rise. It will be how you fall. The same goes for all the people around you. Passion is the beginning of success.

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Just because résumés and track records are being used to filter out and find the best sales people doesn't mean they're worth something. In fact, past success only means you did well in the past. It doesn't guarantee you'll be successful in the future.

Your past success can make future success pretty hard in more than one way...

"Sales is just like a piano"

For instance, successful sales people tend to be promoted. Most of them stay sharp, but some stop exercising that sales muscle, become arrogant and self centered and lose the edge they used to have on life. Oh, I know. Success can repeat itself, and it often does if there's talent. But let's face it. The success you had in the past doesn't prove a thing, does it? What matters in sales? Strictly speaking, nothing matters but the sales you will make in the future. Your current value is the sum of your future contracts. That's what you get paid for. And if you're a sales manager hiring sales people, don't you forget it! Sales is just like a piano. Once a key has been struck the music is gone - it's history - nothing but a memory. The only value of a piano key is the music it's producing, in harmony with every other key --at this time-- and for as long as he or she will be.

The real deal

Why are you in sales? Is it for the money?

Sure, I earn my living that way, and it's good. But you know what. The reason I love selling is because it puts me right where I want to be; in the hottest furnace of constant communication training. If there's one area I'd like to master then it's the ability to reach someone else with a message. And by "reach" I mean totally embrace, both ways, i.e. I embrace you and you embrace me.

If you're asking me, I believe this is the toughest most noble of all tasks in any person's life: To constantly increase the talent of bringing someone over - not to "my way of thinking" - but to a higher shared level.

To me, that's what selling is about, and also how past success (i.e. your track record) can destroy what you have. When you think you're good, you're at risc, because pride may get in your way and stop you from delivering results now and in the future.

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Let's consider an every-day example of how energy makes all the difference while for instance raising a child or taking care of your family. Lillian and I have five children. As a family we've frequently discussed in family counsel how we'd like our mornings to be. But even though everyone puts forth an effort, with five kids ages four to twelve, there's bound to be some challenges - every single morning. How does energy apply in such a situation? And what does this have to do with sales or influence?

If I'm frustrated, irritated, impatient, tired, late or even just gradually growing angry, any one of these emotions will automatically transmit to the people around us - immediately. I may try to hide it, but really it's impossible to keep that energy inside. It all leaks out through the cracks. And we know it all too well, don't we?!

		But, you see, the trouble isn't really knowing and understanding. Remember, what's common sense isn't necessarily common practice out there... In fact, it's mostly exactly the opposite; what we know we should be doing, we often don't do. That's how it requires constant and conscious effort to stay focused on positive energy. Now, let's look at why it makes such a difference to do so.

I should be the first to admit, I don't always succeed. Reflect for a moment on what might be the elements of a typical morning for any of us...

(1) Getting up

PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: When the alarm goes off, our partner gets up, but we ourselves might be tempted to just slumber a tiny bit longer. Already at this point negative feelings may start building up inside. Children jump into our bed, someone turns on the bright light or opens the curtains, we get reminders of how much there's to do today, and even when we do get up, both the toilet and shower are occupied.

PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: The night before we've retired early. Together with our partner we wake up before everyone else, well rested. We make our bed together and turn on pleasent music in the living room. The volume is so low you can hardly hear the music. Family members wake up with a hug and kind words. Whenever anyone does anything to trigger bad feelings we remind ourselves: "I love this person!" and we ask "I wonder how he or she feels right now / how can I be of help?"

(2) Getting breakfast

PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: Everyone's hungry and looks out for their own breakfast. When someone enters the kitchen another leaves. It's usually best to be among the first to eat, because sometimes we run out of milk or even bread. The kitchen is messy from yesterday when we didn't take the time to clean it up. Sometimes there's unkind words spoken as the rush and disorganized meal causes frustration or even accidents. The youngest kids are at times alone in the kitchen, when everyone else is going back and forth trying to get ready... not smart!

PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: The night before the table has been set by one of the kids. Breakfast starts at seven sharp. If someone's late, nobody calls out loud for the missing person. Rather, it's an opportunity to give that someone another a hug and a compliment. Breakfast is kind of slow. Some of us are just quiet. There's time to think, to wake up and time to speak and ask questions as we check up on some of the most important upcoming events of the day. When fruit and vitamins have been swallowed we're ready for another day.

(3) Getting out the door

PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: While everyone is more or less desparately scrambling together their stuff, you regularly discover that a shoe or a glove is missing. Someone's yelling for more toilet paper while others are brushing their teeth, too fast and in a hurry. Parents repeat the threatening warning everyone knows so well: "You're gonna be late for school - again!"

PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: "Good luck with the test today" becomes everybody's que to getting ready. The table is cleared by all in less than a minute. Someone's telling a joke as hugs and kisses are passed and the youngest kids stand waving at the door. It's tradition!

Your feelings about the others

The difference lies in how you feel about the people around you. The above mentioned path to positive energy is of course never that perfect! It rarely is. However, there are proactive elements in it that makes it much easier to keep a sincere and heartfelt smile on your face - throughout the remainder of the day.

Getting up, getting breakfast and getting out the door are all activities that repeat themselves every day. Even if you're single and alone, there's always a number of "good reasons" to quickly start tapping into negative energy right from the very start. If you do, however, you'll only generate more negativity. Why not think it through, discuss the details and decide what you want, together?

People who take control of how the day starts tend to sincerely and honestly think more positively and highly of the people around them. As a result they also find themselves surrounded by people that want to and indeed do return those positive feelings.

If energy is to work for you and not against you here's what you may want to consider: Retire early in the evening and start the next day with a conscious effort to stay tuned in on the positive, especially every time you're tempted not to.

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What's common sense is often not common at all. Here's one case to prove it when it comes to effective communication.

Three dialogs are always running at the same time, and they're there regardless of whether you want them to or not. When two or more people interact the following applies, and you better be aware of it:

	Operational dialog The context in which we interact ("position") Opinional dialog The feelings behind words and how they are perceived ("relation") Optimal dialog How we communicate ("perfection")

If you're mindful of all three, you'll experience high levels of mutual understanding, and the likelihood of influencing others increases.

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Over the years clients sometimes have built dysfunctional procurement routines to protect themselves from dysfunctional sales people and sales systems. In fact, "sometimes" is a euphemism. In my experience, almost every organization has to varying degrees a dysfunctional procurement culture. These flaws arise mostly from sales people who do not honestly protect client interests in the pursuit of short term business. What can you do today to reverse this trend?

There are loads of books written touching this subject. In Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play, Mahan Kalsa and Randy Illig beautifully elaborate on the matter. Maybe, in my opinion, they do so better than anyone else up to this point. For this reason, quite frankly, this book is simply a must read!

						You can do many things to combat dysfunctional selling. When you do so, you'll promote the development of healthy and open procurement models. One basic habit inevitably reinforces ways to how you better can protect client interests. It is this: Seek out senior sales people and executives and ask them what they would have done differently had they started their careers today. The advice you'll get, you'll see, almost always will point you in the direction of how to --better protect client interests--. My favourite question has always been this: "What would you have done differently..." It's kind of like a life jacket. Learn from the mistakes of others. Maybe it won't keep you from falling into the water, but it certainly will help you stay afloat. It makes sense. Try it. Today!

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One-on-one is the best way to do your selling. Nothing beats one-on-one! However, to be successful it's crucial to understand the depth and complexity of one-on-one interaction. Every sales cycle will include three levels of one-on-one dialog.

In reaching any kind of result we move through three levels or stages. The mental picture was originally introduced by Dr. Sephen Covey where he highlights natural law.

Sometimes we tend to think that social systems differ from natural systems, but really they don't. Just like growing a tree, moving from root structure to eventual fruit and harvest every human interaction has the same characteristics. Just like nature will not let you cheat, so it is with social systems. If you try to force the process, you'll fail.

Each level demands attention, and one-on-one is the basic most powerful and effective way to go about it: a) One-on-one to strategically position yourself, b) one-on-one to build a network of valuable relationships and c) one-on-one to skillfully apply tactics in reaching agreements.

We will continue dealing with this subject in the next post coming up.

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In striving for excellence every so often we tend to forget the basics. It has always been like that... We see this in all sales people, too. When there's a dip in performance, you can be sure, 80% of the time it's due to forgetting some of the basics. What lesson can we learn from this? If we're careful to be aware of and stick to the basics, we can save ourselves an awful lot of pain and failure.

So what are those basics? There are a few! In stead of naming a number of them, let's just consider one and one only; face-to-face one-on-one conversation. Ultimately, the most basic interaction and sales activity is one-on-one contact with another individual. You can make a lot of mistakes, but if you fail to go one-on-one mistakes will usually do unnecessary and greater damage.

I once had a CEO that intuitively understood the principle of one-on-one. It was a beauty to witness! Almost on a regular basis he would come for a quick visit in my office and discuss some of the difficult issues coming up in our next management meeting. By the time he left my office he would know perfectly my feelings and viewpoints. Knowing him well, he did the same thing with all the other managers, too. Then, when the time came to meet and discuss, he would have no difficulty reaching an agreement.

In short, he exercised a form of one-on-one sales, and it worked very well for him.

The speed of trust

Make sure to keep in mind how today's screaming need for efficiency may lure you into a dead end. E-mail, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twittering and other similar online tools - even the phone - may increase the frequency with which we are in touch, but quality conversations can never be replaced. The time and place to share intimate or private matters is face-to-face. One-one-one may not be the only way to build trust, but it certainly is the most effective way, even-though it may feel oldfashioned and slow.

While recommending Stephen M. R. Covey's book The Speed of Trust, David Neeleman, Founder and CEO of JetBlue Airways says it so well: "With high trust, success comes faster, better and at lower cost."

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Last month I did a quick webcast on This is Selling. If you look closely you'll find that a complete summary on selling is grouped into three areas. If you focus on all three, you'll discover that your skills begin to work as they should.

Regardless of what topic or expertise within sales you are looking into, it will always be one of the following three: Context (WHAT) Feelings (WHO) Technique (HOW) Whatever you say and do it will be perceived by others in three perspectives: (1) The context in which you say it, (2) the feelings behind what is being said and heard, and (3) the way you say it (i.e. technique or method). Consequently, to influence others, these three perspectives will decide your degree of success. All three of them!

Focusing only on technique is less effective

Context, feelings and technique are basic principles of communication. Context is WHAT you do to create the best possible setting and position. Feelings is WHO you talk with and the emotions you are filled with. Technique is HOW you say it and when.

These three areas are numbered because context outweighs feelings, and feelings in turn are more dominant than technique. Without context and feelings in place technique suffers. People often want to challenge the order of this, but without exception they fail.

Sales technique is not even secondary

Let's be very clear, especially because it really is this simple: Technique helps, but fails when feelings stand in the way. Also, feelings are powerful, but ultimately must give way to context and the bigger picture. If you want to influence others, even influence influential people, first work on context - your position, secondly work with feelings - your relationship with others, and thirdly practice technique - say it right and at the right time.

Remember this, unfortunately most sales training is aimed at technique only. Yes, technique indeed is poor out there, and technique is also mostly weak on a stand-alone basis. The deciding factor that gives technique real power is when context and feelings are taken care of first.

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If you want excellence you need to start in the right place and then follow through. This text answers where to start. When you apply the principles described here and in other related blog posts, you'll find that current problems transform into stepping stones, and that the battle for success wasn't really where you originally thought it was.

There are two kinds of WHY questions. If you want to be successful, you not only need to ask WHY, but also the right kind of WHY. Should you ask WHY the wrong way your efforts will work against you and become counterproductive. Let's take a closer look at all this...

We've already pointed out how success might not be what you think it is. For instance, success is mostly quality, not quantity.

We've also clarified how most people tend to ask WHAT instead of first searching and scrutinizing WHY. Skipping straight to WHAT leads to a misplaced focus on having rather than becoming.

		Cerebellum, the "little brain", highlighted in blue down below								With this in mind it's time to address what those "right WHY questions" really are. In my last blogpost it was suggested that WHY can trigger the powers of the subconscious mind. For a moment let's take a factual scientific approach: When answers to WHY is gradually becoming clear to someone, i.e. a person begins to define purpose and belief systems, the subconscious mind will become a team player to support those beliefs. More specifically, it will feed the "little brain" or the human cerebellum with positive signals, it being responsible for posture and every type of movement - movement of every single muscle in the entire body. (Can you see how all of this is about energy?)

Every one of us is a public display of deep belief systems, and we cannot help it. Those are the facts.

Why the right WHY is crucial

Now, consider this: There are proactive and reactive WHY questions. Some WHY's seem to activate us positively while others tend to passify and depress. We're talking about positive and negative energy - how some activities seem to energize us through healthy reflection while others slow down or dull our momentum.

For instance, putting it bluntly, when someone we love dies, asking "WHY did this have to happen?" is likely to drive you into self pity and depression. A WHY of this kind is of course tempting to linger on, but it is of little help and to no avail.

A better approach might be to ask "WHY am I still alive"? Can you see how immediately this question brings us back to purpose? Can you see how it will make us search out positive meaning? Can you see how it will trigger subconscious activity that soon will inspire you back on your feet and running?

Of course, WHY is a process. In fact, WHY questions belong to the time-outs of life. Are you good at taking regular breaks to reflect on deeper questions? If you are, you'll find that it serves you well. Decide NOW to pull back for at least a few minutes once a day - slow down. It's the beginning of greatness.

Great things are emotional

If we have even just a tiny bit of ambition, what Brian Tracy calls "the belief that I can do better", then we'll strive to accomplish and somehow do "great things".

The conscious mind strives to do "great things". However, the conscious mind is logical and slow, seeking to logically work success. Remember, success is mostly emotional. But emotional results, the great things, are not controlled nor influenced mainly by the conscious mind. Emotions belong to the irrational and psycho--logical-- subconscious mind. The great things the conscious mind seeks to logically accomplish are emotionally accomplished by the subconscious. And what is it that trigger the emotions from the subconscious mind? It's so simple, it's almost scary: When you start the process of asking WHY - WHY in the right way. If there is such a thing as great things, then at least they are emotional.

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." (Mother Teresa)

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If you ever had the ambition of becoming an expert in sales or any area of persuasive communication you will need to help your team or organization address the most basic questions.

...and most of all, you need to ask these questions yourself.

The questions you need to ask yourself as well as instill in others are WHY, WHAT, WHO and HOW - and in that order. They in turn, give us the structure of the entire subject of sales or selling activity. No more do you need to look for a complete overview of what selling is all about.