What is it really that we're doing? (Pause and think!)

It's a question that has moved almost every successful business to where it is today. Although "what" seems to be the ultimate beginning, there is in fact a question that precedes it. The question that drives anyone to asking "what" is "why". And "why" is by far the most powerful motivation. Why? Because "why" is about purpose.

The reason I love being involved with sales people is because they are nearly always measured on performance. Other departments and teams often miss out on clear guidelines for when they are successful.

Measuring performance does something to people - and when done correctly it's powerful and good. Quite frequently I deal with companies that are poor on measuring performance, but the sales department mostly has an underlying culture of accountability and reporting. Let's state it as clearly as possible: You'll never get peak performance without accountability and regular reporting:

Reporting deals with "what". It focuses on numbers and statistics of something we've chosen to measure. Reporting is but a tool. Accountability is the real issue. It's the fundamental feeling of being responsible. Guess what accountability deals with? You're right, it deals with "why". Here's the key to peak performance:

In my experience, the majority of sales people know perfectly WHAT to do, they know WHO to contact and they even know skillfully HOW to do it, but they perform only half heartedly. In fact, even the best sales people are only moving "half the speed of their full potential". What's missing is the WHY. When WHY falls into place, suddenly there's an instant and visible shift in tempo. Maybe you have to see it to believe it..? It's striking and scary all at once!

If you find yourself somehow being in charge of motivating people, you've got to be an expert on the WHY. How do we go about helping team members find individual and collective answers to WHY? If you want to know more about this critical subject, stay tuned for my next blog post ;-)

Principles are often best shared by means of a story or analogy. Here's one that offers depth to the value of individuals and how the fruits of networking are but a fringe benefit of what really matters: Caring for others!

Once when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him. "Pardon, O King," cried the little Mouse: "forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but what I may be able to do you a turn some of these days?" The Lion was so tickled at the idea of the Mouse being able to help him, that he lifted up his paw and let him go.

Some time after the Lion was caught in a trap. Tied down by strong ropes the Mouse heard the Lion's roar. Coming to its rescue and seeing the sad plight in which the Lion was, immediately it went up to him and soon gnawed away the ropes that bound the King of the Beasts.

When freed, the Mouse said to the Lion: "You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, expecting to receive from me no repayment for your favor; now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to con benefits on a Lion."

From a sales perspective, Aesop provides us with a great number of lessons. Some of these may be:

• Never abuse power when you are in a position to do so. Only realize your position allows you to offer mercy you yourself need more than whoever you are offering it to.

• Never be intimidated by the power or authority of others. Only realize that some time in the future roles may be reversed.

• People have value regardless of who they are. Positions have no impact on success in the long run,

• ...but you never know who's who around the next bend.

• Ignore every indication of relative importance among humans,

• ...but maintain a clear view of how the world around you perceives rank and importance.

It is when you rise above, that you begin to grow your ability to influence influential people, becoming one yourself.

I found a charming multimedia presentation on the Lion and the mouse fable. Maybe you'll enjoy it as much as I did?

In June this year we began organizing what is now known as a worldwide group of Elite Sales Professionals. Today we are more than 1.000 high performers and a powerful group of competent people. LinkedIn serves as the initial connection and meeting point, but it will soon be complimented by smart online solutions. These solutions will allow members three basic privileges:

• An evolutionary collaboration model for tipping-point results
• A network of quality people to visualize business opportunities
• An online framework to innovate new money generation activities

The current group definition reads: "High performing sales people with experience in strategy and positioning, network and relations as well as pure skills and customer centric concepts such as innovation and product development. Trustworthy and competent professionals able to create value balancing people with business and money."

Once we've reached critical mass and the beta versions of the online solutions are in place, the Expert Panel behind this group will introduce a second round of qualification. This is when we'll experience the long planned "explosion" of the quality network we're only witnessing the small beginnings of today. Let me assure you; the Expert Panel is not without ambition with this worldwide undertaking! (And yes, the Expert Panel is yet to be formally introduced.)

The greatest mystery of influence lies in how it increases and lasts only when applied unselfishly and altruistically.   Whereas it seems that manipulation, tricks and techniques, "politics", short term power fights and corruption all pay off, the paradigm of "seeds and fruits" always provides the same answer: Everything we do backfires. The recoil may not be instant as with a gun, but what we do always comes back at us eventually.   H. David Burton recently shared a beautiful quote, which really nails it:

Fireman helping old lady, Seminole USA.

Of course, nothing "disappears" - not even what we do "for ourselves", but the things we do for others seem to give added influential powers. My long time partner and friend, Bård Stranheim, lives by a wonderful principle, which he phrases like this:

In today's business environment there seems to be an increasing belief that "graciously caring for others" is not compatible with success. Our research clearly shows the opposite; that those individuals and companies who aim for both short term and long term success need the above stated value firmly rooted in their system, otherwise they'll always fail long term and quite frequently short term, too.

Simply put, influence increases when we apply it to make the world "a better place" and decreases when what we do is centered around our own selfish interests. You may call it religious. I call it a durable principle and indisputable fact. If we apply it, then it works in our favor - if we don't it works against us. Such is the true source and nature of real influence.

With very few exceptions, successful people are 100% dependent on others for what they seek to accomplish. Unfortunately, most people still think of selling as a one-man show. Nothing could be further from the truth.

A true win is a win-win. Everybody knows that by now. "Win-win" has almost become an outdated hype - a worn out buzz word. However, successful people not only help others succeed through win-win, but they also establish a powerful connection with individuals, which has great value by itself. How do we build such relationships? (Remember, we're not talking about superficial friendships, but emotional and mutually meaningful bonding strength.)

A small but important part of succeeding with others is proactive networking. Effective networking involves five key principles. Each of them is possible to execute in simple actions as listed:

Please note how each principle has a specific action listed (as an example) that illustrates how it's possible to execute in real life.

One tool only

With today's technological tools it's easy to end up using several platforms and utilities to maintain contact details of key people. If we want to make tools effectively serve us and not the other way around, then we need to consolidate and make them work seamlessly together or eliminate those who cannot be integrated. With contact details in more than one place we allow technology to set limits to how many people we can reach, especially long term.

Care about all

Always remember that key people are mostly found in surprising positions. Top executives are important through the role they fill, but we've found that they're seldom the most valuable contacts long term; when they lose their position they sometimes completely lose their "value" - at least through the eyes of a cynic.

Always remember that our basic perception of people shines through no matter what we say or do. If we truly care about people because people have value in themselves, then that's the energy and message that radiates from us. That's what our surroundings pick up and sense. We simply need to be authentic in caring about others and the world will return the favor when we most need it. We care, not because it pays off to care, but because everyone around us has equal value as individuals. (That's something cynical power fighters don't understand, maybe because they never really cared in the first place.)

Law of reciprocity

...means "what we do comes back to us". Notice that the action linked to this principle is "create value by connecting people and specifying opportunities that they share". You'll find that once you connect people, two causal effects often hit in:

1. You'll quickly become part of the potential business
2. People will return the favor and identify possibilities you yourself did not see

One-on-One

Few understand how complex human interaction really is. If you want to connect with people, one of the most basic principles to live by is to stay personal. Friendships are personal, they are what one person shares with another. If you include others, you'll increase the energy of the social setting, but you dilute the opportunity to exchange personal emotions and feelings. Of course we need both settings, but when it comes to connecting with others, one-on-one is by far the most significant arena.

Always available

Being dependable is being there when someone needs you. Frequently, human need will vanish as quickly as the need arises. This means, someone might need information at an instant, immediate advice or a supporting shoulder for which reason they contact you. If you're available, you become the solution - a valuable individual in their life, there and then. If you're unavailable, because the need is instant and "overwhelming", they will call on someone else. Being unavailable quickly becomes lost opportunities, that others pick up simply because they were approachable instead of you.

These five principles, coupled with "the actions that belong to them" are only but a fraction of what connection is all about. However, they are the essence of an effective networker. Do remember - networking is not down to technique; networking is about being sincere, loyal and a believer in "the good stuff" that's inside each of us... In one word, building TRUST!

In almost all sales literature you'll find clever advice about sales processes, techniques, models, structures, systems, programs and blueprints. The remainder of sales literature aims at human traits such as PMA (Positive Mental Attitude), enthusiasm, networking, values, politics, win-win and the like. Thus, in short, we find two categories:

1. Methods and
2. what I like to call "Effort and Talent"

As important as these two categories may be, the key to leveraging great performance - I mean SERIOUSLY outstanding and UNSTOPPABLE performance - lies in reality elsewhere. Where do you think unbelievable results come from?

Beyond Method, Talent and Effort

Introducing the subject in this way also reveals a most interesting aspect; each one of us intuitively and instinctively already knows, but it seems hard to put into words, and even harder to implement in the corporate world. Deep inside we know it's not method - methods are important, but not the ultimate and deciding factor. We even know it's not effort and talent, because they too are often waisted and held back. It's something else. What would you say it is?

Just think about it... Of course we need method - method is crucial. We also need effort and talent. Effort and talent are not only necessary, they're foundational. But... and this is my point; there's something way more important and significant lying underneath that determines whether or not someone succeeds beyond normal..! (Remember, we're not just talking about success. We're discussing unusual and remarkable success.)

Before I give you this pearl - this diamond of unique and simple value - I need to emphasize one crucial point, to help understand why this is so valuable, not only in today's business world, but also in every other setting; marriage, family, politics and every type of human interaction. What we see is this:

Whether a book or training event focuses on method, effort or talent, in reality it makes no real difference on performance. Good stuff finds good people anyway. In the end, real improvement in "average people" stems from another source altogether!

Influence is Energy

The One-on-One slogan "Influence is Energy" summarizes all there is to say about what really makes the difference. I've seen people be trained in the most extensive and excellent research-based programs and models, supported by management, economic as well as human resources, enticed by incentive programs and backed by values and follow up coaching. Does it ring a bell? Regardless of how much method, effort and talent an organization has or puts in, no TIPPING-POINT RESULTS will come unless something triggers individual energy.

Amazing success is born - first and foremost - when you IGNITE CHARACTER. A truly dedicated individual is not able to not influence others. Therefore, there simply is no such thing as the one and only perfect salesperson, because every one of us has the built-in capacity to influence others in our own unique way. We each have peak performance when intuition permeates our burning desire and every-day actions. That does not mean that methods, effort and talents are without effect. They are indeed the muscles and tools of success, but even muscles and tools are no good without a beating heart and the blood to provide the needed oxygen.

Apply individual energy to method, effort and talent and you've got a combination that works. Energy, however, is too often missing - in fact, almost always missing - and it's only haphazardly found even among high performers.

• Why do methods not work on a stand-alone basis? Because without unleashing individual power, methods tend to restrain rather than free influential ability.

• Why does effort and talent not work on a stand-alone basis? Because without the engine itself to wake them up, effort and even talent merely remain "mis employed tools" without purpose.

First release energy, then apply method, effort and talent!

During the past 7 years we've discovered a set of principles that trigger energy in individuals and organizations making them influential through empowering character. It's not quick fix, but it's a LOT quicker than "quick fix", because quick fix only has a short term effect and no real bearing on true and lasting success!

I'm a big fan of Robert Cialdini. The work and research he has provided over the years on the subject of influence is simply powerful. If you haven't read his book(s) and articles, I encourage you to do so.

In particular I appreciate his healthy approach and how he points out the vast number of manipulative techniques that are more or less consciously applied "out there". It was Dale Carnegie, who in his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" said: "A person persuaded against his will is of the same opinion still." If you combine this basic principle with the body of knowledge we have today on manipulation, it's obvious that complex and large account sales especially needs to be CLEAN. Manipulation always backfires!

What's interesting is this; most account and sales managers today know that manipulation only hurts us in the long run. However, if our deepest belief patterns and habits render us inclined to exercise control or dominion over others, it will - in business also - surface in what we do and how we say things.

The scary thing is, to a certain extent, we're all at times tempted to use force or some kind of coercion to obtain our goals and objectives. You're saying: Really??! How? Let me give you just a few examples, and then maybe you're able to spot misbehavior in these or similar examples you yourself are able to produce - from your most personal life and circumstances:

• What's my behavior like when driving a car and being late for an important meeting?
• When my children won't listen, how do I respond to their rebellious behavior?
• How do I behave and how do I phrase my sentences when in a middle of an argument with my spouse?
• How do I treat my subordinates or those I lead? How do I phrase my "orders"?
• What feedback would my colleagues give me if they read this blog post?
• How do I react when someone expresses frustration about someone I too have a strong dislike towards?
• How do I handle someone that pushes me for honesty about something I'd rather keep to myself?

Once we begin to see our own misbehavior and how we're suffering from manipulation in almost every respect of our lives, it naturally becomes of interest to find out what manipulation really is. Also, how can I become a master of clean influence? That, I will share more about in my next post ;-)

We ought to have a serious problem with anyone that promotes a product or service they wouldn't buy and use themselves.

Nothing new about that, but that's not all. We should also be concerned about anyone that doesn't first sell to their best friends and family, and equally important, whether or not they have indeed succeeded in selling to someone close and personal. Why? Because it proves whether or not the individual really believes in the value of their offering. When someone with an in-depth knowledge of a product or service is willing to risk valuable friendships and relationships this becomes a solid indication of product value.

Here's an example to illustrate what I mean:

A number of years ago, when I was working for X, I asked myself if I would sell X to my parents, brothers and sisters or friends. The answer came out very clearly: Definitely not! By nature, this reply would have made me quit right away. I don't think anyone should promote anything they do not wholeheartedly support and passionately believe in. Then why did I remain with the company? The reason was obvious. If my parents, my siblings or friends would have been professional buyers with specific high-performance information needs, I would have encouraged them to buy X products and services - at the time.

However, when I had been in X for approximately two years I made a significant discovery that made me change my mind after all. Like I said previously, the belief in a product or service is not only tied to whether it's "good", but also if the price reflects the value of it. Of course, value is relative, and price should actually fluctuate according to the dollar's worth of what the solution provides... but let me briefly share what happened: I was selling an X licensed database to my brother-in-law. At the point when we were about to sign the contract I found myself giving him a smarter and cheaper license than what I normally would do. Why would I do such a thing, I thought? The answer gave me a shock I'll never forget: Because I didn't believe the solution was worth that much money. Being in conflict with my own integrity I realized I had to either negotiate better prices for my accounts and/or improve the quality and value of each solution.

I could go on and tell you how I soon after switched both company and role, but the main principle should be clear: "Only sell quality and value you yourself would buy. Never ask for a signature on a contract you yourself wouldn't sign".

When instructing top sales people on how to sell more, I always begin by introducing them to the Operational dialog. This type of interaction involves everything from product development and change management to internal training and internal and external marketing. Sales people sometimes ask why this is important to "selling extremely well - it's not directly sales related". My reply is that it is! Bottom line: We need to bring ourselves in the situation where we offer our clients something we are passionate about. If we don't, it's time to improve what we have or quit doing it. And, yes, sometimes it's a process. That process is the Operational dialog.

Before wrapping up, I'd like to just add one little piece of information. A few years later I came to learn about the values behind Open Source, open architecture and open standards. This too dramatically filtered out the type of companies I'm willing to help and support. Today I'm part of a team that really appreciates the Operational dialog. It's a true adventure and a wonderful experience to be working with passion, not just on my own, but with others. That's energy for ya'.

The hardest, most demanding "customer" to please and to satisfy has got to be those with whom we have the closest relationship, don't you think? Family; a brother, a sister, a spouse, a child or even a best friend. Only at this level can we really tell what kind of quality (sales) people we are. It's how we treat the individuals inside "our most private circles" that reveals who we truly are - and it can hurt at times!

Why is this? How come? There probably are a number of reasons why very close relationships are a hard sell.

One reason could be how our most private life reveals "vulnerability and weakness". Everyone has a bit of pride - deep inside - that somehow seeks to protect our total defeat or feeling of complete surrender. When our most tender faculties are exposed we feel a powerful urge to defend ourselves. When someone comes close enough we feel attacked and are often inclined to fight back with irrational behavior based on feelings and emotions. Ironically, this in turn only confirms our weakness and increases frustration.

Another reason why selling to family or friends can be hard is how sooner or later everyone - even the most perceived professional - is inconsistent in behavior patterns. When what we say is not in line with what we do, we automatically lose respect in the eyes of those around us. Close relationships experience this on a regular basis. This lack of respect causes words to lose power and influence, because words are only a function of feelings.

Still, more important than "why" is "what". It's true, it can be harder to please or sell to family or friends, depending on our true long term character. What's more important is what can we do to make the switch? How can we make a "sale" to the people with whom we have our most meaningful relationships?

Well, the secret is of course this: The toughest sale is potentially the BEST sale!

If we could, we should seek to make every contact and call a personal and meaningful relationship. Some people will respond to this by saying: "I make a clear distinction between professional and personal or private life". WRONG!

WHAT??! What does this mean?

Let me suggest what it could mean, and then you tell me what you think such a statement might imply: When all is said and done, basically what this boils down to is... "I cannot afford to open up to business contacts like I do with family and friends, because if I do they'll find I'm not only full of mistakes and lose respect for me, but they'll also discover how insincere I am by how I'm unwilling to work on my character, mistakes and weaknesses to make the needed changes".

Let me share one of my own deep flaws to illustrate:

I used to blame my parents for regularly being late when promising to pick me up as a young boy. The other day my wife called me and asked me whether I could pick up one of our oldest children after art class. I said I would, and then she added a warning: "Vidar, I was asked whether someone else than dad could do it, because he's always late". Ah! That stung so bad and so deep in my chest. So unfair, I thought. I've made EVERY possible effort to ALWAYS be on time. It stayed with me the rest of the day. That bitter feeling would not go. Then, an hour before I was to fulfill my important dead-on-time-appointment, I suddenly made a great discovery... I knew I had been a few minutes late the last two pick-ups. Even though with good reason, of course my behavior had been generalized and not forgotten. All the other times, when I had been on time, these times were all taken for granted. Of course that was unfair, but here's what I discovered: I had done the same thing with my own parents. Suddenly I was able to remember all the "forgotten times" when mum and dad had picked me up ON TIME. My heart sank and instantly changed from being judgmental to thankful for the wonderful patient parents I have - who were on time. Bitterness was gone.

How do you think I approached my child that evening? 'nough said - it was a great experience and a perfect "sell". However, more important than everything else - as a father (read: e.g. vendor) - I am more committed than EVER to deliver according to contract with regards to all my children.

One of the three most powerful ways in which we can influence others is by linking our product or service to a) the individual purpose or agenda, b) the values and/or c) the deepest desires of the decision maker and stakeholders (in an account). In 3E we've called this "Subjective Linkage". If you're in sales you've probably heard it all before. However, if you study the details of advice given to this challenging - very difficult - task, there is ALWAYS little substance to it. Why? Very few people actually do this!

It's so interesting, you know... The last 30 years of research within sales, influence and psychology has pretty much pointed out everything needed to win contracts - BUT - when asked HOW, the answers get very long and blurry. Right here in this blog post I'm going to give you a clear solution to the task just mentioned in bold print above. Then, if you've really tried this in real life you know how hard it is, and you'll also appreciate my specific reply. (If you're not emotionally touched after reading this blog, then you've probably never struggled with Subjective Linkage in the first place). Let me illustrate with a personal experience:

Not long ago my son and daughter were in some kind of quarrel. I heard one of them screaming from downstairs, clearly as a result of some physical contact. I immediately called for the eldest. When she came up she may have expected me to hold her responsible for whatever the problem was. In stead I asked her, with a friendly smile on my face: "So what's he doing this time (surrendering my complete trust in her agenda, values and sincere desires for good)!" Instantly she looked relieved and had an emotional outburst revealing her inner feelings and frustrations. (If I had scolded her, she would have remained without an open display of feelings.) What came out was of course her "complete innocence", and also how she had honestly tried to solve the bickering how she thought it should be done. I followed up with a hug and a few tears in their behalf, telling her how I too make mistakes as a husband and father. There was no longer any risk in sharing true feelings - bitterness quickly began to dissolve. Then I called for our son to come upstairs, too. I left them speaking alone and soon the problem was solved and forgotten.

This is a practical example of Subjective Linkage - both between my daughter and me, and between my two children.

Here's what needs to be done: When we meet with people, our main purpose should always be to make a real and worthwhile connection. The other person is ALWAYS what's most valuable at any given time! The connection is the highest and greatest compliment we can possibly give. This can be done in many ways, but regardless of how, we need to get personal. The only way to be personal is to at some point or another reveal how we're human and vulnerable and to invite others to do the same.

I deeply believe that each of us has the quality to find for ourselves how this can be done best. This is why 3E focuses on the principles of a connection giving guidance to how we use our personal talent and abilities to make it. The key issue is, once you've established a connection, it's possible to tap into the personal life and agenda of others and it becomes natural to do so. THEN we can establish Subjective Linkage.